All Stars (U) 106 mins **
Apologies
if this stirs unpleasant memories, but do you remember those Nativity films? The various StreetDances? Horrid Henry: The Movie? Those behind this pretty naff
mash-up-slash-cash-in really hope you do – and furthermore, that you’d be
willing to hand over the hard-earned so your offspring can sit through the same
plot points again. Ben Gregor’s film at least cloaks its cynicism with a
bright, 3D-enhanced cheeriness. As the Hackney schoolkids staging a talent
contest to save their youth club, Theo Stevenson and Akai are sparky enough,
while – with the exception of John Barrowman, uncharacteristically muted as a
depressed dad – the grown-ups providing the exposition and squash (Ashley
Jensen, Kimberley Girl-Aloud, TV’s Hugh Dennis) wear semi-sincere smiles. It’s
still best left to easily pleased youngsters, who might just overlook its
familiarity and airheaded, Cowell-era bandwagon-hopping. Bodypopping as a
recession-buster? It’s a no from me.
All Stars is in cinemas nationwide.
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