Ouija **
Dir: Stiles White. With: Olivia Cooke, Ana Coto,
Daren Kagasoff. 89 mins. Cert: 15
Because nothing says
Halloween more than gathering in the dark to experience a carefully strategised
branding opportunity. The latest product of the unholy synergy between Michael
Bay’s Platinum Dunes and toymakers Hasbro is a rudimentary horror in which
bland Everyteens are slain while communing with their late friend via the
sinister Ouija – an item currently mass-produced by Hasbro Inc. While
increasingly tired thousand-decibel prods counteract the absence of dynamism in
watching kids spelling with a polyurethane planchette, matters become comically
venal. “I don’t want to touch it,” shirks one player. “C’mon – they’re sold in
toy stores,” is the response. Everybody’s pocket money deserves better.
Ouija is now showing in cinemas nationwide.
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