No One Lives (18) 86 mins **
Taken with last week’s superior You’re Next, this dreary slasher would suggest we’re in for a raft of horror runarounds pitting representatives of the 1% against the murderously aggrieved remainder. Here, it’s a psychopath wrestling a set of backwoods ne’er-do-wells for possession of the brittle blonde heiress he’d previously kidnapped. Director Ryuhei Kitamura ladles on the entrails like a ghoulish dinnerlady, but his three-way narrative strategies lead nowhere: the film’s switching between the fictional equivalents of Ted Bundy, the Manson family and Paris Hilton, without realising this gives us no-one we might remotely give a hoot about.
No One Lives is in selected cinemas from today, ahead of its DVD release on September 23.