Step Up 3D (12A) **
Directed by: Jon Chu
Starring: Rick Malambri, Adam G. Sevani, Sharni Vinson, Alyson Stoner
3D is apparently so awesome it can rescue whole franchises from straight-to-DVD oblivion – but Step Up 3D has already had its best moves stolen by scrappy Brit contender StreetDance. With series totem Channing Tatum a no-show, the baton here passes to Step Up 2’s tousle-haired comic relief Moose (Sevani), as one of two NYU sweethearts who end up crashing at an absurd loft arrangement for the terpischorially gifted. From there, our fleet-footed heroes proceed to the annual World Jam dance-off, strive to save their favourite nightspot, and generally prove themselves “B-FAB”, a.k.a. Born From a Boombox, a.k.a. an item that instantly supercedes Mean Girls’ “fetch” as Movie Slang Least Likely To Catch On.
For all its flashy accoutrements, what this cash-in lacks is physicality: the stereoscopic set-pieces have a virtual, occasionally inhuman quality, as though pasted in from the nearest available green screen. Otherwise, it’s the same film, with several of the same tunes, as a half-dozen antecedents; the primary difference is that – with its non-stop clunky dialogue, in-your-face product placement and effete villain named Julian – this is dafter than most, and likely to leave even unworldly 12-year-olds rolling, rather than breakin’, in the aisles.
Step Up 3D opens in cinemas nationwide from Friday.
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