Top Dog *Dir: Martin Kemp. With: Vincent Regan, Leo Gregory, Ricci Harnett. 94 mins. Cert: 18
Low-level ladsploitation, directed by Spandau Ballet’s Martin Kemp and adapted by Green Street writer Dougie Brimson from what’s billed as his “cult novel”, with family man Leo Gregory running into trouble amid the North London protection rackets. “This is all a bit Lock, Stock, isn’t it?” muses one ne’er-do-well, raising early hopes the genre might finally have become self-aware, but Kemp assembles the subsequent rucking in taprooms and damp backalleys with scant style or wit: the incidental music’s particularly offensive, and it’s forever dubious around women. DVD beckons, yet the content is so leaden as to make that Spandau reunion seem creatively worthwhile.
Top Dog opens in selected cinemas today, ahead of its DVD release on Monday.