Hammer of the Gods (18) **
Nowt to do with Led Zep, but a very silly attempt
to recreate the Viking invasion on a stretched budget around Tenby. Director
Farren Blackburn (who did 2011’s festive Doctor
Who) aims low and lairy, introducing his warriors in Lock, Stock-like freeze-frames, then establishing their conquest as
an early stag weekend: there’s ample drinking, chauvinism and homophobia, and
more swearing than you’d hear from a hungover Frank Harper. Cinematographer
Stephan Pehrsson has Snowdonia on his side, at least, but the battles are
sub-Sealed Knot, and with the exception of ailing King James Cosmo, everybody
on screen looks less like actual Vikings than they do recent RADA grads,
growing out their stubble and keeping fingers crossed for that elusive Game of Thrones callback.
Hammer of the Gods opens in selected cinemas from today.
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